Comments on: Dad’s Death Panel – guest author Wizcon http://mountainsageblog.com/2009/11/23/dad%e2%80%99s-death-panel/ Political News, Opinion and Discussion Thu, 18 Mar 2010 23:52:38 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Wizcon http://mountainsageblog.com/2009/11/23/dad%e2%80%99s-death-panel/comment-page-1/#comment-29054 Wizcon Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:57:44 +0000 http://mountainsageblog.com/?p=7004#comment-29054 Thank you all. His mother spent the last 10 yrs of her life in dementia and she lived to be 102. My aunt had been her POA but died rather quickly from cancer. That left Grandma in limbo. The remaining children signed a document stating they wanted me to oversee her care.She signed herself out of the home she was in and in to the one near me. So we did not have to go through the courts. She was a vital part of our life. My daughters were witness to the process. The home she was in allowed and encouraged family to do personal care on her such as bathing I considered caring for my Dad, but he said he did not want that, mostly because he is so huge. He was also worried he would hurt me in his confusion later on. I am also self employed. Earning a living would be next to impossible. My directive says "comfort only" in the event of a terminal situation. Having helped care for my brother and ex through terminal cancer in the last few yrs helps with that decision. But who knows how you feel about all that when you are in that situation. You make your decisions while you can, then turn it over to those who you trust and hopefully love you and respect your wishes. Thank you all. His mother spent the last 10 yrs of her life in dementia and she lived to be 102. My aunt had been her POA but died rather quickly from cancer. That left Grandma in limbo. The remaining children signed a document stating they wanted me to oversee her care.She signed herself out of the home she was in and in to the one near me. So we did not have to go through the courts. She was a vital part of our life. My daughters were witness to the process. The home she was in allowed and encouraged family to do personal care on her such as bathing
I considered caring for my Dad, but he said he did not want that, mostly because he is so huge. He was also worried he would hurt me in his confusion later on. I am also self employed. Earning a living would be next to impossible.
My directive says “comfort only” in the event of a terminal situation. Having helped care for my brother and ex through terminal cancer in the last few yrs helps with that decision. But who knows how you feel about all that when you are in that situation. You make your decisions while you can, then turn it over to those who you trust and hopefully love you and respect your wishes.

]]> By: AliSilver http://mountainsageblog.com/2009/11/23/dad%e2%80%99s-death-panel/comment-page-1/#comment-29052 AliSilver Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:31:18 +0000 http://mountainsageblog.com/?p=7004#comment-29052 @skyagunsta, ''May LOVE be the central part in your father’s natural process'' SKYA,,, I love this statement !!! Kudos. May I add " peace'' as well to everyone involved, Wiz ! :) @skyagunsta, ”May LOVE be the central part in your father’s natural process” SKYA,,, I love this statement !!! Kudos.

May I add ” peace” as well to everyone involved, Wiz ! :)

]]> By: skyagunsta http://mountainsageblog.com/2009/11/23/dad%e2%80%99s-death-panel/comment-page-1/#comment-29050 skyagunsta Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:37:57 +0000 http://mountainsageblog.com/?p=7004#comment-29050 Death used to be so uncomplicated it seems like an eternity ago. When my mother died no one talked about life support systems; the family pooled together and took care of her. She died after a long illness with cancer in the l950s. Also in the 1950s my grandmother died at home with the family taking care of her in the day time and at night nuns of Mercy would come to the house and take care of her. Nolife support systems. No ACLSFs, Nursing Homes or Hospices ... Death was a natural process (which it still is but which we have made more complicated by life support systems, lack of Right to Die with Dignity directives, big pharma money making machines, doctors who want to squeeze the last penny and last dime out of their dying patients ...it is all too sad that our natural dying has been so extricated out of our lives. I think that if a Right to Die with Dignity Directive could say LET ME DIE A NATURAL DEATH, people might not be so afraid and fearful to sign one). May LOVE be the central part in your father's natural process. Death used to be so uncomplicated it seems like an eternity ago.
When my mother died no one talked about life support systems; the family pooled together and took care of her. She died after a long illness with cancer in the l950s. Also in the 1950s my grandmother died at home with the family taking care of her in the day time and at night nuns of Mercy would come to the house and take care of her. Nolife support systems. No ACLSFs, Nursing Homes or Hospices … Death was a natural process (which it still is but which we have made more complicated by life support systems, lack of Right to Die with Dignity directives, big pharma money making machines, doctors who want to squeeze the last penny and last dime out of their dying patients …it is all too sad that our natural dying has been so extricated out of our lives. I think that if a Right to Die with Dignity Directive could say LET ME DIE A NATURAL DEATH, people might not be so afraid and fearful to sign one). May LOVE be the central part in your father’s natural process.

]]> By: timesr http://mountainsageblog.com/2009/11/23/dad%e2%80%99s-death-panel/comment-page-1/#comment-29035 timesr Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:52:56 +0000 http://mountainsageblog.com/?p=7004#comment-29035 @Wizcon, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My mother died in 2008 without a directive and had dementia for the last year of her life. It was difficult not knowing what she wanted after she had a stroke that killed her within a few days. I would not wish that on anyone. My dad died in August and had a directive, it was still hard, but knowing what he wanted gave us direction. @Wizcon,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

My mother died in 2008 without a directive and had dementia for the last year of her life. It was difficult not knowing what she wanted after she had a stroke that killed her within a few days. I would not wish that on anyone.

My dad died in August and had a directive, it was still hard, but knowing what he wanted gave us direction.

]]> By: Sage http://mountainsageblog.com/2009/11/23/dad%e2%80%99s-death-panel/comment-page-1/#comment-29020 Sage Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:53:34 +0000 http://mountainsageblog.com/?p=7004#comment-29020 Hi there. This has to be so hard for you and your family. My parents have written out directives as well. I believe I hold the medical power of attorney. It's a painful topic of discussion but it's a necessary discussion. Thanks for sharing. Hi there.

This has to be so hard for you and your family. My parents have written out directives as well. I believe I hold the medical power of attorney. It’s a painful topic of discussion but it’s a necessary discussion. Thanks for sharing.

]]> By: Wizcon http://mountainsageblog.com/2009/11/23/dad%e2%80%99s-death-panel/comment-page-1/#comment-29010 Wizcon Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:43:45 +0000 http://mountainsageblog.com/?p=7004#comment-29010 I wrote this because the phrase "death panels" keep coming up as a scare tactic. I cannot understand peoples resistance to consulting with a Dr about end of life decisions. It is with Dr's guidance and information that we make these decisions when the loved one cannot communicate or understand what is going on. In the absence of loved ones to look after you, a guardian is usually appointed. I was guardian to a protectively placed man, an old schizophrenic, with whom I had a friendship. I was also guardian to my grandmother. She was able to tell me what she did NOT want before going silent. It would bother me to no end if my children were not able to input into my care because I failed to write down my wishes. Conversley I would not have been able to make decisions for my young adult daughter when she was gravely ill had I not convinced her to draw up a directive and POA. When your children turn 18, you are no longer privy to their medical information. I wrote this because the phrase “death panels” keep coming up as a scare tactic. I cannot understand peoples resistance to consulting with a Dr about end of life decisions. It is with Dr’s guidance and information that we make these decisions when the loved one cannot communicate or understand what is going on. In the absence of loved ones to look after you, a guardian is usually appointed. I was guardian to a protectively placed man, an old schizophrenic, with whom I had a friendship. I was also guardian to my grandmother. She was able to tell me what she did NOT want before going silent.
It would bother me to no end if my children were not able to input into my care because I failed to write down my wishes. Conversley I would not have been able to make decisions for my young adult daughter when she was gravely ill had I not convinced her to draw up a directive and POA. When your children turn 18, you are no longer privy to their medical information.

]]> By: AliSilver http://mountainsageblog.com/2009/11/23/dad%e2%80%99s-death-panel/comment-page-1/#comment-29005 AliSilver Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:00:11 +0000 http://mountainsageblog.com/?p=7004#comment-29005 Oh WIZ ! Oh WIZ !

]]>